 It
may seem obvious and silly even to bring up knowing what success means to you,
but think about choices you’ve made in the past that had you scratching your
head later on, wondering why on Earth you chose that. This is the difference
between acting on impulse and acting on self-knowledge and a deeper
understanding of your true self and the world around you.Imagine you’ve just
bought a magnificent sailing boat, trained to the point of mastery, assembled a
brilliant crew, and you’re ready to go anywhere.
Freedom is the order of the day: you have as much time as you want, as much
money as you want, and you can go anywhere and see anything.
Sound like a good time is pretty much guaranteed?
Sure, but there’s more: there’s a difference between just having a good time,
and having a deeply fulfilling experience.
The latter takes reflection (inward and outward), planning, preparation,
training, and committed execution. A good time is icing on the cake.
We are inundated with talk of goal-setting, achievement, getting things done,
and generally doing. That’s all fine and good, and if that’s where we’re
focused, we’ll accomplish a lot.
I’ve taken vacations where I don’t remember a moment, because I was doing
everything, seeing everything, and getting on to the next thing, without taking
a moment to connect up all my doing to who I am, what the experience meant to
me, why it was important. You know, “If this is Belgium it must be Tuesday.”
I’ve also had vacations that are as vivid as if they’d happened yesterday,
because they were an expression of my deepest self. Maybe I focused the
experience on artistic growth and learning (London theatre tour), or exploration
and adventure (snorkeling in the Florida Keys), or professional advancement
(performing in the Festival d’Avignon).
There’s nothing wrong with setting and achieving goals, especially if you
thrive on accomplishment and productivity.
But before you focus your attention there, consider the fulfillment piece.
Look at why you do what you do. What’s meaningful for you? What will you
remember forever?
Here is a worksheet designed to help you get clear on how
you measure success. In it, you’ll begin to ask yourself questions that will
bring you clarity about Purpose, Values, Mission, and then Goals.
You may want to fill the worksheet out several times, looking through the
lens of various areas of your life: as a business person, in relation to your
spouse or significant other, as a parent, or simply as a person of the world.
Here are some guidelines:
Purpose – Viktor
Frankl was a holocaust survivor, psychotherapist, and author of Man’s Search
for Meaning. He presented his patients with the most fundamental of all
questions: “Why do you not commit suicide?” It may seem like a morbid question,
but those who never ask it claim only existence as their purpose. Those with the
courage to revisit it continually throughout their lives give themselves the
opportunity for a fulfilling life.
In our sailing voyage metaphor, our purpose is pretty obvious: to sail. Now
take it a step deeper: yes, to sail, but for the sake of what? To explore new
places? To connect and transform people? To immerse yourself in the vast expanse
of nature? To promote safe and harmless forms of energy? To connect with a
higher power?
Sit with a relaxed body and a clear mind and write out as many concise
purpose statements as come to you. Exhaust yourself – leave no stone of purpose
unturned.
Values – Values represent what’s most important; those things that
bring you alive like nothing else. What gives you an overwhelming sense of love,
or peace, or excitement? These are all expressions of your values: they’re like
light bulbs plugged into your core, waiting to be electrified.
What would be most thrilling to you on your sailing voyage? Honoring your
sense of Adventure? Conditioning your mind and body? The way the open sea offers
expansion and complete freedom?
Make a list of your top values that reflect what brings you most alive.
Mission – This is the complete picture.
Actor and Civil Rights activist
Ossie Davis said, "We
can't float through life. We can't be incidental or accidental. We must fix our
gaze on a guiding star as soon as one comes upon the horizon. And once we have
attached ourselves to that star, we must keep our eyes on it and our hands on
the plow. It is the consistency of the pursuit of the highest possible vision
that gives you the constancy, the encouragement, the way to understand where you
are and why it's important for you to do what you can do."
Your mission is your “guiding star.”
Write a mission statement for yourself that encompasses your purpose and
values. Make sure it’s broad enough to include everything and specific enough
that it guides your every action. Let it thrill you, even scare you with its
magnitude. It should be awesome in the true sense of the word.
Then post it on your wall or some prominent place, where it will continue to
stir and inspire you.
Goals – Now you’re ready to set some milestones that will get you
where you long to go. Make them creative, fun, specific, and most importantly,
exciting; an expression of your purpose, values, and mission. They should
motivate you with a sense of accomplishment.
Congratulations. In just a few minutes, you’ve developed a great deal of
clarity and insight into who you are and what makes you tick. You now have a
basis for making every choice in your life and career. And you have the tools to
deepen your commitment to a life of fulfillment.
Until next month, I wish you much clarity and
fulfillment.
RJ
| 
- by Viktor Frankl
- by Viktor Frankl
- by Rick Warren
- by Sidney B. Simon, Leland W. Howe and Howard Kirschenbaum
- by Ken Blanchard and Michael O'Connor
- by Alan Seale
- by Kevin Brennfleck and Kay Marie Brennfleck
- by Keith Ellis
- by Gary Ryan Blair
by Gary Ryan Blair