| 
One question I ask all my new clients is what classes they
would have adeed to their curriculum in school had it been
offered. Money management is by far the most popular answer.
Imagine
feeling at peace with money. Imagine feeling
totally solid, with no anxiety, fear, or stress about your
financial situation. What would be different in your life.
I
work with my clients about money quite a bit. If you're
like most people, you feel that money is running your life,
rather than the other way around.
 I
heard about a study a few
years
ago in which 80% of
people surveyed said they
would feel at peace with their
finances if they were just making
10% more than their present
income. The irony of this is that
that was as true for those under
the poverty line as it was for
millionaires.
It's
a cruel joke we've played on
our brains in this culture. After millions
of years of hard-wiring
ourselves to understand the actual value of concrete goods
and
services, we've suddenly adopted an abstract system ~ a
system that our brains are not that good at adapting to.
Back
in the day it was easy to see that 12 chickens for a
cow was a good deal and 12 cows were surely a good trade
for a cottage on the highlands. The value of cottages,
chickens, and cows was readily apparent. (I don't know if
that's how the ancients really traded, but you get the idea.)
Now
we try to assign a value to the things we want using
"dollars," and we're suddenly thrown into a system
that
controls us, rather than one that empowers us to manage our
money.
So
it's clear that money isn't about money, but rather
it's a tool for getting the things we need and want. In my
own life, I've started seeing money more as a means of
freedom: freedom to travel, learn, have fun, give to causes
bigger than me, and teach my money how to procreate. Money
begets money, you know.
As
a result, my relationship with money has changed from
one of animosity and struggle, to one of mutual respect and
ease.
If
it sounds like I'm describing a relationship one might
have with another person, it's no mistake. There's a
distinct parallel.
Consider
what happens in your own life with your
relationships with people: when you try to control them,
they often do the opposite of what you want. When you treat
them with love and respect, it breeds harmony and deeper connection.
So
if money were a real person in your life, what would be
the nature of your relationship? Is money a coy seductress
that never gives you the goods? Is it a brute that smacks
you in the face? Is it a loyal friend?
You're
locked into a relationship with money anyway, so
wouldn't it be great if you could enjoy the time you're
spending with it?
Really
examine what sort of relationship you have with
money, and how that relationship is serving you. If you
find it leaves you struggling or wanting more, define the
relationship you really want to have, and then recreate it.
Not only will you feel better about your interactions with
with your good friend money, you'll start to see more of
him, simply because you want to.
Attached
is a worksheet to you define your relationship
and change it to one that works better for you. It's a PDF
file, so you may need to go to Adobe to download the reader
for fr*ee.
Until
next month, I wish you much success,
RJ |
Take
a Break:
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