Congratulations to Clients and Friends!

Renewal and Clarity in the New Year

Feature Article: Minding Your Shoulds and Can'ts

NOTE: Some words in this ezine have been disguised to
avoid triggering overzealous sp^m filters.

The Actor's Success
The online eZine for Actors
Who want thriving careers
from Robin Jones,
MFA & Certified Life Coach

Volume III, issue 1
January 2006

Not to be missed! the 1st Tuesday of each month.
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Jennifer Fraser got a new job in her field making more money!

Vickie Harley lost eight pounds!

Ellen Bettenhausen opened her own wine bar,
the Oak Park Abbey in Chicago!

My family and I bought a house here in Louisville!

Renewal and clarity come naturally at the beginning of the
new year. Except when they don't. So if they haven't, take a
moment now and see 2005 behind you and 2006 stretched out
before you.

Now grab a sheet of paper and list the things you want to
let go of from the past.

Make another list of 3 things you want to see show up in the
new year. For each thing, answer the following questions:

Who do I need to be to make it happen? What old habit will I
need to let go of? Am I truly willing to let it go?

Now take your first list and tear it up or burn it as a way
of letting it go. Celebrate what's been; after all, it is
what brought you here.

Celebrate what's to be.

As an actor you're already in touch with the power of
language. The imagery of Shakespeare, the bite of Mamet, the
wit of Wilde. The writer, director, and actor collaborate to
transport the mind and heart of the audience into another
world. How amazing.

But what about the power of language in everyday life?

Although we think of language as describing the world around
us, the words we speak also shape our reality, whether we
know it or not. We actually create much of our reality just
by speaking.

Here are a few examples you might be familiar with:

"I can't afford that." "I should call my [insert family
member here]." "I have to get it done today."

"I can't afford that." Of course the truth is that you
probably can afford it. Nine times out of ten you actually
have the money it would take to buy the thing you want, but
you're choosing to spend your money on rent and groceries or
something else. Or maybe you're squandering it. Cigarettes?
Coffee (God, please don't make me give up my coffee!) Dining
out too often?

"I should do this, I should do that." "I should" is nothing
more than an annoying message from your inner-critic.
There's no should or shouldn't except in your own mind.

"I have to get it done today." No you don't. There may be
consequences for not getting it done, but life will go on.

The real problem with "I can't, I should, and I have to," is
that it leaves us powerless, without choices, stuck in old
patterns that no longer serve us.

I am most acutely aware of language with my three-year-old
daughter Daphne.

My wife and I have recently become more careful with the way
we phrase things. "You need to eat your Brussels Sprouts,"
has become, "I want you to eat your Brussels Sprouts."
Repeat it about eighty times, and you'll get the gist of
dinner time at our house.

This is so important with Daphne because she's three, and as
she receives input her brain forms its network of beliefs.
"You need to..." gives her a sense of having no options, and
even though Brussels Sprouts are good for her, I want her to
grow up at choice, not only about what she eats, but
everything she does.

Even at your age (I assume you're older than three), the
language you use shapes your beliefs daily. Change the words
you choose, and you change the results you'll see in your
life.

Download the attached worksheet to play around with it. It's a
PDF file, so you may need to go to Adobe to download the reader
for fr*ee.

Until next month, much love and success,

RJ

© 2006 The Actor's Success & Robin Jones

Robin Jones is a Certified Professional Life Coach specializing in helping actors beat the odds of the business and build thriving careers.Visit www.ActorsSuccess.com to move your career forward now.