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"I pretended to be somebody I wanted to be until finally I
became that person. Or he became me."
--Cary Grant
Recently a prospective client told me a little story. He
had attended a party in his industry, that is, the industry,
he wants to be successful in. As he drove there, he began
feeling jitters and a general sense that he didn't belong.
There were going to be several influential people in the
field, and he started out telling himself he was a nobody.
We've all had these thoughts and emotions, especially when
it's about something important. Simple insecurity in any
situation is certainly no fun, but when it's in the face
something we really want, it can be debilitating.
As he pulled up to the party, he reflected on the fact that
he was driving his snazzy, albeit old sports car, and was
dressed with a bit of flash, so he decided he'd act as if he
was already a success, since he had the trappings anyway.
While he shook the hands of these "high-powered" people,
something shifted in him, that he never expected. A tactic
to make himself feel better about being afraid, turned
around his whole perspective on the possibility of his
success in his business. Just acting the part, made him
realize he had what it takes to make it.
Of course, this all goes back to that bit of wisdom that has
become cliché in recent years: that whatever you believe,
you can achieve.
The difference here is that you don't need to sit and think
great thoughts in order to change your beliefs. You simply
need to open yourself to a different way of acting, even if
it's only for a few hours, and then see what happens.
Think of it this way: you've heard the idea that what you're
capable of is only limited to your imagination. You
probably believe it's true. So why don't we always
act as if it's true?
It's because we're deluded; we look around and decide that
what we see is true. "I live in an apartment I can barely
pay for." "I don't have that special person in my life."
"I'm in a dead-end job."
Blah, blah, blah.
Your conscious mind is focused on those things, and we have
all agreed to call them reality. They will be your reality
if you allow them to be.
The problem there is that those thoughts are boring, and
you're boring yourself by thinking them. If you don't
believe me, go out and tell someone all the details of your
"reality," and see how quickly their eyes glaze over.
What if we allowed our dreams and desires, the things our
hearts long for, to be just as valid? What if we decided
those things that live in our imagination were just as much
a part of our reality as the things we take in empirically?
In fact, your unconscious mind makes no distinction between
them. For that part of you, your memories, your current
experience in this moment, and what you imagine about the
future, all hold equal weight, all expressions of the same
thing.
This is why our beliefs are so powerful. It's why people
who have opened their minds to what is-and what can be-make
such huge progress.
And it's what I believe the Buddha meant when he said, "We
are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world."
So take some time to pay attention to your imagination.
Just as importantly, act as if the things you find there are
already true.
Attached is a worksheet to help you.
It's in PDF format, so
you may need to download a fr^ee reader from Adobe.com.
Until next month, my friends.
RJ
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Feature Article: Acting As If