3 Rules For Making
Commitments You Can Keep
The Actor's Success
the online eZine for Actors
who want thriving careers
from Robin Jones
Volume II, issue 1
January 2005
"If it was something that I really committed myself
to, I
don't think there's anything that could stop me becoming
President of the United States."
--Will Smith
I hate New Year's resolutions. Easy to make, easier to
break, and you just end up feeling lousy about yourself
because you didn't follow through. How is that helpful?
And yet we know committing ourselves to things pays off.
We've been told time and again in acting classes that you
must commit yourself fully to your character's desires,
goals, and actions. It's the foundation of any great
performance. This is as a true onstage as it is off.
With commitment comes success - just look at your
successful relationships: even when you're fighting with
your partner or angry with a friend, your commitment to the
relationship carries you through.
There's a story that when he was first starting out in the
business, Jim Carrey wrote himself a check for $10 million
with the notation, "for acting services rendered." I guarantee
when he was feeling a lack of faith in himself and his career,
that commitment helped him get where he is now.
So why do we break the commitments we make to ourselves so
often?
Here are three rules for making commitments you can keep.
Follow them and your success will not only be powerful, but
much easier. (Wow, what if a successful acting career could
be easy?)
1. Only commit to things you really want deep down in
your heart
This is why I hate New Year's resolutions: they're all
about not going to the drive-through as often, working out
more (or at all), going to more auditions, blah, blah, blah.
The first problem here is that are these are vague and
unmeasureable. It's too easy to break a commitment when
you don't have a way of knowing what success will look like.
More importantly, you're not committing to things you
really want. The truth is that fast food tastes good,
working out is boring and it hurts, and auditions are
scary, painful, and full of rejection.
Essentially, you're saying, "I commit myself to doing a
bunch of things I really don't want to do," and that's a
recipe for failure.
Instead, commit yourself to what's on the other side: what
would your life be like if you lost 15 lbs., tone or bulked up
10 lbs., or landed a starring role in a feature film this year?
Judge the commitment you're making simply by how exciting
it would be, how it would make you feel, and how it would
really change your life.
2. Know what you're committed to
We usually think of commitments as something we do
consciously: marriage, signing an apartment lease,
accepting a role, etc.
Perhaps more important are the commitments we make that
we're not aware of.
Huh?
One of the most frequent things I hear from my clients is
that they know they'll be successful, but why does it have
to be such a struggle? In saying that, they're unwittingly
committing themselves to a painful climb.
Sound familiar?
If you're committed to the process being a struggle, it
will be. So why not decide that instead, the process is
going to be fun and enjoyable? Isn't that why you got into
this business in the first place?
Seems too simple, doesn't it? Try it: decide when you wake
up tomorrow that the day is going to be easy and fun.
Commit yourself to it and see what shows up. Keep
committing to it, day by day, and you'll see changes.
3. Commit fully or don't commit at all
Imagine getting married even though your heart isn't fully
invested; you've got reservations or lingering doubts.
That's Trouble with a capital T, as the song goes.
I know, commitments are scary. That time before you
actually throw yourself into something is plagued with
"what if it doesn't work out?," "what if I'm not good
enough?," or "if I step through this door, what other doors
am I closing?"
So here's where the first two rules really matter: look
hard at the commitments you've already made, and the those
you're making for the future. What reservations do you
have? What fears? What doubts? What questions?
Now simply weigh those reservations, fears, doubts and
questions against how real those barriers are. If you're
able to overcome them, great: time to move on. And if
instead you come up against real barriers to success, don't
make a commitment you won't keep. Instead, make a
commitment to something you will.
Here's a simple example: "I want to pursue an acting career,
but talent is something you're born with, you can't learn it,
and I'm not talented."
No "real" barriers here:
A. talent is in the eye of the beholder and has no measurable
scale (and you're the last person that needs to be judging
your level of talent).
B. "natural talent" is an overused phrase and is not required
for the skill and technique it takes to build a solid thrilling
performance.
C. talent is far less important than hard work, persistence,
and courage in making it in the biz.
The rule of committing fully applies to everything from what
you order for dinner, to the whole of your acting career.
The only difference is that if you commit yourself to an acting
career with a lot of reservations or doubts, you're setting
yourself up for a lot of pain. Ordering the wrong dinner is
a little easier to overcome.
But bear this in mind: unless you've decided to pursue an
acting career in Antarctica, there are no "real" barriers
to your success.
I'm too fat - tell that to John
Goodman
I'm too skinny - tell that to Calista
Flockhart
I'm too ugly - tell that to Steve
Buscemi (sorry, Steve)
I'm too short - tell that to Verne
Troyer
I'm too hairy - tell that to Peter
Sellers
I have a stutter - tell that to James
Earl Jones
I'm too weird - tell that to Crispin
Glover
I'm too poor - tell that to Oprah
Winfrey
I'm too lazy - tell that to... well, I can't help you
there.
None of this is to say that making commitments you can keep
will guarantee your success - nothing in life is guaranteed. But
by looking at your commitments and making them without
reservation, you'll increase your chances significantly. And
you'll have a lot more fun and freedom along the way.
As always for subscribers, I've attached a worksheet to
help you make commitments that are exciting and easy to keep.
It's a PDF file, so you may need to go
to Adobe to
download the reader for fr*ee.
Until next month, I wish you much love and success.
RJ
© 2005 The Actor's Success & Robin Jones
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